


Requires Further Research

by gladdecease



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: prompt_in_a_box, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-14
Updated: 2009-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Putting aside the fact that you're a theoretical physicist, and this is biochemistry you're working with here, what kind of research could you possibly want to look into that involves sex hormones?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Requires Further Research

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://community.livejournal.com/prompt_in_a_box/profile)[**prompt_in_a_box**](http://community.livejournal.com/prompt_in_a_box/) Round 19, Albert Einstein quotes. Number 34: No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

Sheldon held no interest in, or respect for, the types of people who dealt with pseudo-sciences. They claimed to be scientists, to follow the proper methods and procedures, but in fact most of them had barely the smallest grasp of the physical theories behind what they were studying. So, when he found himself suddenly very interested in one pseudo-science in particular, he knew who he had to turn to: himself.

Which was why Leonard found him in one of the experimental chemistry labs, surrounded by test tubes labeled with long systematic names. (17)-estra-1,3,5(10)-triene-3,17-diol, pregn-4-ene-3,20-dione, 4-androstene-3,17-dione - as soon as Leonard saw them he knew what was going on. "Estradiol, progesterone, androstenedione - these are all steroid hormones." Leonard glanced over all of the test tubes and frowned. "Most of them are female hormones."

"While calling estrogens and progestagens "female" hormones is incorrect, as they are present in both males and females, you are right that I am studying those hormones more than I am androgens. I don't think the latter is necessary for my research."

"Research?" Leonard gaped at Sheldon, who stared at him levelly. "Putting aside the fact that you're a theoretical physicist, and this is biochemistry you're working with here, what kind of research could you possibly want to look into that involves sex hormones? You think sex is a waste of time and energy."

"And I maintain that it is," Sheldon said, sticking a label to his last test tube. "However, for reasons I cannot understand, it seems to make people happy. It can't just be the endorphins, or the chocolate industry would be equally profitable."

Leonard watched as Sheldon capped his test tubes and stuck them in one of the freezers. "So, what, you're trying to figure out the secret to happiness?"

"Not exactly." Sheldon took off his gloves and goggles and frowned. "Leonard, you should be more careful. They put up these signs telling you to have goggles and gloves on at all times for your own safety."

Leonard laughed as they left the lab. "Yeah, maybe next time I'm searching for you because you haven't answered your phone for the last five hours, I'll remember to wear all the proper protective equipment."

"Thank you, Leonard."

Exasperated, Leonard didn't respond. Until, as he was starting up the car to head home: "So, if you're not looking for the secret to happiness, then what?"

Sheldon fidgeted. "I can't tell you." Leonard turned to look at him, about to ask what he meant by that when Sheldon said, "Eyes on the road, Leonard."

Rolling his eyes, Leonard said, "Yes, Sheldon."

The question wandered around the back of Leonard's head for a week. It poked around some nerves in his hindbrain for a few days, giving Leonard an unfortunate facial twitch whenever he thought about it, then moved on to his hypothalamus and gave him insomnia for two nights. Then, having discovered its own answer in his subconscious, it traveled down his spinal cord, vibrated through his voice box and leaped out of his mouth in the middle of dinner.

"You're looking for a scientific explanation for love."

Howard and Raj looked between Leonard (looking surprised that he'd spoken) and Sheldon (torn between shock and outrage, which resembled nothing so much as a large, gaping fish). Howard opened his mouth to ask, then reconsidered. On one hand, this might mean Sheldon was accepting that women (well, sex, but the difference to Howard was minimal) were awesome. On the other, this might mean Sheldon had a girlfriend. Howard didn't want any details of that, thank you very much.

In the end, curiosity won out. "Something you want to tell us, Sheldon?" Howard asked uncertainly.

Sheldon, still playing fish charades, sputtered out some disconnected syllables for a minute. Then, resolutely: " _No_."

Raj blinked. "Dude," he said, "I thought you'd memorized every quote attributed to Einstein."

"I have."

"Then what are you doing going against what he says about love?" At the odd looks from Leonard and Howard, Raj mumbled something about a self-help book his mother had sent him last month for scientists "unlucky in love."

Sheldon huffed. "Memorizing them doesn't mean I agree with them." Returning to his tangerine chicken, he muttered, "I don't care what Einstein said, there has to be a logical way to explain this."

Exchanging glances and hand gestures, Leonard, Howard, and Raj considered whether to bring up the question. Raj was against it, while Leonard was cautiously curious. Howard alternated between sides, quickly giving up on them both and starting to mime various forms of death (though whether their purpose was to put himself out of his misery or to shut them up wasn't clear). Just as Howard got to quartering himself and feeding his entrails to vultures, Raj and Leonard agreed to disagree. Covering his ears, Raj crouched down in his chair.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Sheldon didn't look up from his food.

"...Sheldon?"

Sighing, Sheldon put aside his carton and starting to fidget. "You won't like it," he said quietly. Raj gestured at Leonard, as if this proved his point. Leonard waved him off and leaned forward in his seat.

"Who is it, Sheldon?"

He said a name.

Howard's carton of pork lo mein fell out of his hands. "What?"

Raj's hands fell away from his face. "What?"

Leonard's face fell. " _What?_ "

Penny peeked through the open door. "What?"

Sheldon put his head in his hands. Leonard, Howard, and Raj turned to stare at Penny.

She frowned. "What?"


End file.
